On bad feelings and emotions.

Lately I wanted to get the best out of myself. Take every opportunity that life offers and take advantage of it without paying attention to anything else.

I was raised and educated to only pursue freedom and independence. All the other things that put a limit on my life, fits tightly, and I push it away, regardless of the consequences, feeling numb, as if I was disassociating myself from them.

I always thought it was a great achievement to be able to select the emotions I feel, and I started practicing NLP for that very reason and to be able to make the most of the Law of Attraction.

Because, after all, that’s how it works. 

Feeling like winners helps us to win, feeling happy, helps us to achieve happiness, feeling loved helps us to attract lovers. Overturning emotions instead, always leads us into oblivion, it makes us doubt ourselves and attracts all sort of troubles.

Only lately, for me, everything has been working out too well.

I got what I wanted, and all I had to do was just be able to disassociate myself from the penetrating and persistent feeling of fear mixed with shame, insecurity that I felt as I could not do more and be imperturbable against the adversities of life. 

Against the curse of C19, against a difficult family situation, against loneliness, and against the lack of support in EVERY field of my life (family, love, work, money and health). 

Basically, it can only be said to have survived thanks to good new friends and swimming.

Personally I tried to find all the possible techniques to conquer the world, and I also managed to handle them quite well.  I was able to achieve the unimaginable … seriously!

I have tried everything: Soka Gakkai Buddhism, Brahma Kumaris Raja Meditation, Richard Bandler’s coaching and NLP courses, Eriksonian Self Hypnosis, psychotherapy, sports visualization, Abraham Hicks meditation, Reiki, the transcendental meditation, vippasana, traditional and untraditional yoga etc. and the conclusion, contrary to what people think, for me, they all work!

They work to improve yourself, to improve your body, to get more of what you want, to see yourself in a different light, and also to simply recognize ourselves better for who we are, but on one thing they all fail.
They don’t teach us to appreciate negative emotions when we feel them. Furthermore, they do not teach us to look them in the face and accept them when they come like a raging river. And we live in constant fear they might show up at any time.

Of course, there is psychotherapy that aims at pulling out these emotions, and recognizing them (at least so it happened to me), but when you go to therapy you know you are not alone in your thoughts, so you don’t look at the emotion in the face when they suddenly show up … It is a different approach.

Often these ghost emotions are associated with the past, and are able to take possession of your present preventing you from even dreaming anymore.

For me, every time, this situation is traumatic.

Being very good at managing thoughts, having this great ability to carefully select emotions in times of need, and the luck of being able to visualize what I want to achieve, I am always petrified in front of the disruptive recurring negative thoughts, and I realized that the only way I have to deal with them is to give them space, to hug them and to make them feel welcome. 

Ghost scary emotions help us too. They, too, are there to make us better.

Without them, without fear, without anger, without depression and despair, only with joy and peace we would be automatons without any glory, nor satisfaction.
Too often I see “spiritual minds” taking refuge in “light” and “blessings” they don’t feel.  Too often they have a real fear of facing the darkest parts of themselves, the fear of recognizing their obscene sides and the shame of finding they are actually vulnerable.

But when we all are.
This, more than anything, is the key to unhappiness, and there is no Law of Attraction that can truly make you evolve in this world if you are unable to admire yourself in the most fragile moments of your life, and value it.

With this, today I take my fear, my insecurity and my shame in hand, and I carry it with me on my new adventure in Portugal, where many new challenges await me, and where I will probably feel very lonely, but where I will always try to respect me and take care of myself.

Meanwhile, I thank the sweet people who have been my friends here in Rome, and made my lockdown days more special, and my swimming team, PantaRei that taught me resilience and passion. 


Photo by Mateus Souza on Pexels.com

Why we desire, and why we never get it done.

Aladdin's magic lamp, and the Genie that is coming out of it.

There is so much in a person’s life.

Why we desire what we desire, and why do we always feel the need to justify with ourselves what we desire?

I had the chance in life to get to know something about NLP and how to achieve our goals, how to set our goals, and how to determine when you reach a goal.

One thing NLP doesn’t explain, though, is why we desire what we desire, why we have certain attitudes rather than others, why, since childhood we are more keen on one behavior rather than another one.

There are probably tons of studies on the subject, but, one explanation that my intuition (and my intuition only) feels right is the one Abraham Hicks gives.

Desire comes from contrast, and contrast comes from the universe for our personal growth and spiritual expansion.

The fulfillment of that desire happens only when you are aligned with your inner self, and that you feel that spiritual expansion, all the other ways will not be satisfying.

This is really why most desires are so difficult to realize, and also why we always desire something that is so difficult to achieve.

Abraham talks a lot about desires, but when people ask questions they are mostly concerned about the outcome, and not so much on how to enjoy the trip.

All the desires in the world seem pretty common.

When we ask to express a desire, and it’s the outcome that we believe will make us happy, when actually, the fulfillment of a desire can be dangerous if you don’t align body and soul to it.

When thinking about “I want to become a superstar” I Imagine Britney Spears that had the talent, the capacity, the momentum to achieve that goal, supporters, money and fame, but did not have real family support and laws to protect her, that made it obvious that she was not happy. (And yes, she also attracted some herself with her songs, but that’s something else).

I don’t know if any of you have ever watched “Forrest Gump”, that is my favorite movie in the world.

There is a part of the movie where Jenny, Forrest’s all-time best friend says: “I want to be a folk singer and live on that!”.

The Universe is quite literal sometimes, it takes you seriously, and even though it is only a movie, it’s quite the way it happens in real life.

After a long time they didn’t see each other, Forrest finally has a chance to visit her, and he is so happy for Jenny who finally had her wish come true. She was singing a folk song on a stage and making money with it, not noticing that she was naked, and really unhappy.

The Universe will always provide, and it will always make sure your wish comes true, but how to get fulfillment from those desires comes only from us, and on how much we align to the process, not to the outcome.

A singer that doesn’t like to perform every day, can’t be happy and fulfilled by one time they had success with it.

An athlete that does win an Olympic medal, can’t be proud of what he has achieved if they took drugs, or if it was simply super easy for him.

I’m thinking, for example at Ian Thorpe, famous unfortunately for training while being in a suicidal state, while being hungover and for achieving all swimming goals anyway with ease.

Most of the people that are happy in life, have one basic skill in common.

They transform their desire in achievable goals, they consciously or unconsciously align with it, with the process. They overcome contrast, obstacles, pain and limiting beliefs to align with the process, not the goal.

And they enjoy.

It’s a little ironic that I write this right today, because I myself have a hard time following this path.

In my life I only had one true desire: being accepted for who I am, by being free.

Funny enough, life has given me an unsupportive, judgmental family, disappearing friends, unasked responsibilities, unwritten rules, and unstable codependent issues with partners.

Ironic, isn’t it?

But it’s always soothing for me to remind myself what would Abraham Hicks do if he was standing in my physical shoes.

I know what he would tell me. He would tell me to breathe. He would tell me to enjoy my breathing. Furthermore, he would tell me to enjoy what I do, to focus on what makes me feel good in each moment. And only when I feel so much joy that my body can’t contain it anymore, to change that desire in a goal and be specific about my desires. 

Because in the end, things are always working out for me and for all of us, we just have to better live with chaos, and accept what we can’t control.


I just simply enjoy listening to this, especially when I forget the potential of wellbeing we all have. ❤