The Unfolding of a Thought

Ok, I decided to start writing this post even though I have very little time, and I really have a million things to do. More than a post, perhaps this will be a booster post: short, intense and energetic. I need to really gather all my energy for this. All the positive and negative energies that I have inside me, as they are all needed!

Maybe I can’t explain everything exactly, but I’m sure I can explain how it got here. In Lisbon, with a new job and a new life.

It was February, under lockdown, closed at home with my mother, no money or prospects for the future. Resumes and rejection letters from all over. In fact, I had chosen to send my resumes on AngelList where they keep you in suspense for 1 or 2 weeks and then send you a detailed rejection letter in detail. I was rejected by 8 unpaid jobs, 14 paid jobs, and they didn’t even want me as a volunteer (because they didn’t want me to waste time looking for work).

Once I finished the jobs where I could apply I started sending them to Italy, where at least they don’t really reply to you, and although the ego is not to be fed, I think that at least I love mine enough not to ask him to stand there and take all the bull*. I mean, even the ego needs a little love occasionally. And so, of 42 resumes sent, I received one response from a job as a telemarketing saleswoman, at €500 per month on evening shifts that include the weekend, without a contract.

To say that I was depressed is an understatement because in addition to having no prospects, I also had the growing guilt that has been put on my shoulders by society that demands not to leave my old mother alone, and at the same time ask me to accept any job otherwise I’d be considered demanding.

And although I really wanted to be a good daughter, to show all the love I have for her, I had anxiety attacks every day, with the prospect of having to sacrifice my life in a place that never guaranteed me any right, where I would not be able to live alone, where I couldn’t feed myself, or be able to live independently. Not to mention the fact that I wouldn’t be able to be seen, and appreciated for who I am.

This blog, for me, was a real lifeline because I resumed past studies on NLP, and it forced me, somehow, to take back my thoughts and strength. As the director of my coaching school, Antonella Rizzuto, says in a recent Unicomunicazione post: “What you think is your world”, a way of saying that the map is not the territory.

And there I really sought my strength. I tried to accept my anxieties and fears, but also to dissociate myself from them, because after all I chose what to think. What I am I choose with the things I love, with the music I listen to, with the people I attend, with the ideas that I have of myself that are not still in a moment, they are not static, but are constantly moving, like thoughts.

And emotions don’t represent who we are, emotions are like a guide, and they make us realize if we’re really following our nature or if we’re stuck at a deadlock that we need to figure out how to unlock.

So, with a lot of courage, I collected every moment of lockdown solitude to try to connect more and more to the emotions that I relate to freedom and love.

Some days I spent hours alone in the terrace of my building listening to my favorite music and connecting to it while admiring the sky and trying to imagine myself in different situations while I continued to appreciate the present moment. I was looking for joy in admiring the sky, the freedom of birds in flight, and I was trying to remember what it feels like to feel free to be who I am, and to love me for who I am with all my limitations and vulnerabilities. I tried to let go of the idea that I could be everything. To be the perfect daughter, the perfect niece, the perfect cousin. I realized that I had only one responsibility to my mother: the responsibility of really living every day.
I can’t prevent the other things, I can only take them one day at a time.

And it was only when, looking up at the sky, I connected with the world, I remembered the 68-second rule.

Visualize what you want, down to the smallest detail, when you feel it can happen for a minimum time of 68 seconds.

If you’re able to keep that image undisturbed for 68 seconds, it will come true, or rather, the universe will slowly unfold it in front of your eyes in such a natural way that you won’t even realize that’s exactly what you asked for.

And this is how an insignificant opportunity on paper has turned into a huge opportunity for growth.

I’ve changed my country, and the city I live in now is absolutely wonderful. I have found a house exactly as I had asked it, I have met great people, and the job offers an incredible opportunity of growth that was exactly what I had asked the universe.

All this during one terrible pandemic, and with unemployment rate never as big.

My job now, is to remember who I am. A person with the faculty to think, and if you can think you can be who you want.

Luna

One must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. Friedrich Nietzsche · 

Dreaming
Receiving

Why we desire, and why we never get it done.

Aladdin's magic lamp, and the Genie that is coming out of it.

There is so much in a person’s life.

Why we desire what we desire, and why do we always feel the need to justify with ourselves what we desire?

I had the chance in life to get to know something about NLP and how to achieve our goals, how to set our goals, and how to determine when you reach a goal.

One thing NLP doesn’t explain, though, is why we desire what we desire, why we have certain attitudes rather than others, why, since childhood we are more keen on one behavior rather than another one.

There are probably tons of studies on the subject, but, one explanation that my intuition (and my intuition only) feels right is the one Abraham Hicks gives.

Desire comes from contrast, and contrast comes from the universe for our personal growth and spiritual expansion.

The fulfillment of that desire happens only when you are aligned with your inner self, and that you feel that spiritual expansion, all the other ways will not be satisfying.

This is really why most desires are so difficult to realize, and also why we always desire something that is so difficult to achieve.

Abraham talks a lot about desires, but when people ask questions they are mostly concerned about the outcome, and not so much on how to enjoy the trip.

All the desires in the world seem pretty common.

When we ask to express a desire, and it’s the outcome that we believe will make us happy, when actually, the fulfillment of a desire can be dangerous if you don’t align body and soul to it.

When thinking about “I want to become a superstar” I Imagine Britney Spears that had the talent, the capacity, the momentum to achieve that goal, supporters, money and fame, but did not have real family support and laws to protect her, that made it obvious that she was not happy. (And yes, she also attracted some herself with her songs, but that’s something else).

I don’t know if any of you have ever watched “Forrest Gump”, that is my favorite movie in the world.

There is a part of the movie where Jenny, Forrest’s all-time best friend says: “I want to be a folk singer and live on that!”.

The Universe is quite literal sometimes, it takes you seriously, and even though it is only a movie, it’s quite the way it happens in real life.

After a long time they didn’t see each other, Forrest finally has a chance to visit her, and he is so happy for Jenny who finally had her wish come true. She was singing a folk song on a stage and making money with it, not noticing that she was naked, and really unhappy.

The Universe will always provide, and it will always make sure your wish comes true, but how to get fulfillment from those desires comes only from us, and on how much we align to the process, not to the outcome.

A singer that doesn’t like to perform every day, can’t be happy and fulfilled by one time they had success with it.

An athlete that does win an Olympic medal, can’t be proud of what he has achieved if they took drugs, or if it was simply super easy for him.

I’m thinking, for example at Ian Thorpe, famous unfortunately for training while being in a suicidal state, while being hungover and for achieving all swimming goals anyway with ease.

Most of the people that are happy in life, have one basic skill in common.

They transform their desire in achievable goals, they consciously or unconsciously align with it, with the process. They overcome contrast, obstacles, pain and limiting beliefs to align with the process, not the goal.

And they enjoy.

It’s a little ironic that I write this right today, because I myself have a hard time following this path.

In my life I only had one true desire: being accepted for who I am, by being free.

Funny enough, life has given me an unsupportive, judgmental family, disappearing friends, unasked responsibilities, unwritten rules, and unstable codependent issues with partners.

Ironic, isn’t it?

But it’s always soothing for me to remind myself what would Abraham Hicks do if he was standing in my physical shoes.

I know what he would tell me. He would tell me to breathe. He would tell me to enjoy my breathing. Furthermore, he would tell me to enjoy what I do, to focus on what makes me feel good in each moment. And only when I feel so much joy that my body can’t contain it anymore, to change that desire in a goal and be specific about my desires. 

Because in the end, things are always working out for me and for all of us, we just have to better live with chaos, and accept what we can’t control.

Luna


I just simply enjoy listening to this, especially when I forget the potential of wellbeing we all have. ❤